


bandaids (are no good for heart break)

by nessisdunn



Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: Coming Out, Emotional Hurt, Kinda, Kyan Reki Needs a Hug, Late Night Conversations, Light Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, Post Episode 9, Relationship Advice, basically his mom telling him to fucking communicate but nicely, but mostly a soft convo between mother and son
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:08:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29970300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nessisdunn/pseuds/nessisdunn
Summary: Reki recalls how he would run over to his mom’s room and hold back his tears when he whispered into the dark room, “mom? I had a bad dream,” and she would pull him up to her bed and kiss the top of his head. Every time, Reki would use it as an excuse to get an extra cup of hot chocolate, and his mom would “fall for it” every time too.Or on another one of Reki's late nights, his mom makes him a hot drink and gives him some good advice.
Relationships: Hasegawa Langa/Kyan Reki
Comments: 4
Kudos: 175





	bandaids (are no good for heart break)

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO :D This silly skating anime has been rotting my brain lately, and so i present to you my first fic for sk8! i actually had a longer fic planned, but i was procrastinating and wrote this instead lmao. i have a few other ideas/plans for fics in this fandom, so if u like this be sure to stick around,, i guess sfkgfsjkd. anyway enjoy!!
> 
> (p.s the title is from keshi's "bandaid")

Reki can’t sleep. This isn’t an especially new thing— he hasn’t been able to sleep until far too late in the night for some time now. Some time. He’ll twist and turn, watch a few videos or scroll endlessly on his phone. He’ll turn up his music extra loud, to tune out the thoughts making up the fog in his head. Tonight though, the music isn’t loud enough to dispel the noise.

With a sigh, Reki tugs his earphones off and kicks his legs off his bed. Maybe a late night snack could help, is what he tells himself, opening his door with a creak and padding barefoot to the kitchen. He leaves his door ajar so that the little light coming from there filters into the hall. It’s not that he’s scared of the dark, but even walking in the dark hallways of his own home was unnerving. Eerily quiet and serene where there should be the shouts of his sisters, the background hum of the TV. 

The kitchen is empty when Reki enters, so he goes straight to the fridge and stares at it blankly. He isn’t even hungry, in all honesty. Just tired. 

"Reki? It's really late...you couldn't sleep?" 

Startling, Reki glances over at the door where Masae Kyan stands, a contemplative frown on her face. The look his mom wears is one he’s familiar with— worried, trying to figure him out. 

He nods, and she gives him a reassuring smile. "I know what might make you feel better." 

She ushers him out of the kitchen, sits him down and makes him a hot coco, like she often did when he was younger and had nightmares. Reki recalls how he would run over to his mom’s room and hold back his tears when he whispered into the dark room, “mom? I had a bad dream,” and she would pull him up to her bed and kiss the top of his head. Every time, Reki would use it as an excuse to get an extra cup of hot chocolate, and his mom would “fall for it” every time too. The old memories bubble in the centre of his chest, fond. 

"You haven't been yourself lately, you know." She sits down beside him with her own steaming mug, giving the sort of look that leaves no room for escape, uncompromising and unyielding in her gaze. The look of a concerned mother, Reki thinks. 

He looks down into his own mug, stares at his faint reflection in the coco. 

"...I know." Where does he even begin? His feelings of insecurity, that he's not good enough? His feelings for Langa? "Mom?" 

"Yes?" From the corner of his eye, Reki notices how Masae straightens up, leaning forward ready to listen. She’s probably wondered what’s been going on with him lately, it’s no wonder she’s suddenly so eager to listen. 

"What do you do…" he trails off, eyes laser focused on the wisps of steam rising from his cup and the warmth of his hands as he holds it tighter. "What do you do when there's someone, this amazing person, who you want to be with but you just...can't quite reach their level?" 

She tilts her head, thinking. Then she takes a sip of her own drink, sets it down and says with a smile, "'be with'?" 

Reki's eyes widen, and he clears his throat. "Like, skate with!" The moment he says this, Reki isn't sure if he's made it better, or worse. "But the thing is, this person keeps growing and growing, and I can't keep up with it, so I left." He takes a big gulp of his hot coco, though it hasn't cooled. The steam stings his eyes. "I'm scared to go where they want to go, but they're so stubborn, so certain it'll be ok. Maybe, because it's him, it will— and at this point, it's not like he even _needs_ me anymore either, so I don't— how can I even tell him I—" 

All she does is lay her hand on Reki's back, rub back and forth in soothing circles like he's a baby, like one of the twins. Like he’s had one of those bad dreams again and she’s telling him it’s not real, it can’t hurt you, and he cries. In a single moment his vision is blurry and his cheeks are dampening as tears begin to roll down. So many, like all the tears he’s been holding in since his fight with Langa, all breaking free like floodgates. Reki is unable to stop, can only clench his fists hard, and whimper because it’s too late for fully blown sobs, making strangled suppressed cries that come from the back of his throat instead. 

All through it all, his mom keeps a steady hand on his back and soothes him with her kind and soft words, hugs him. She shows her utmost patience, hands him some tissues and waits for Reki’s tears to run dry. Time moves slowly for Reki, as if he’s cried for hours when he finally stops. The frame of his eyes are still liquid, and he blows his nose from time to time. It feels like anything could set him off again, a fragile glass at the very edge of a table, waiting to be tipped over and shattered. This feeling, Reki hates it the most.

Masae starts again, voice careful and quiet. "Is this about—" 

"—No," he sniffles. Reki doesn't want to hear her say his name. It hurts too much.

"OK." She has that knowing smile in her voice, but Reki doesn't have the energy to clear things up. She's right, isn't she? It is like _that_ , after all. "We all look up to the people we're close to, and get jealous, and insecure sometimes. It's ok to feel like this. But, I also know how much you love skating...it makes you happy, right?"

"It did, Mom, but now…" 

"And this person, the _amazing_ one—"

"—Mom!—"

"Do they see it the way you do?" 

"Huh?" The question catches Reki off guard.

"Do they think you're lesser? Or not on their level? Maybe, they see you in a completely different way."

Langa doesn’t have to think he’s less than Reki for it to be true, is the answer his head provides. To Reki, it makes sense. "He isn't like that, but everyone knows he's better, says he's better…" 

His Mom smooths down his bed head, affection in the action. He lets her, because usually Reki isn’t fussed over like his younger sisters. And Reki’s fine with that of course, he can take care of himself. But he still smiles softly, picks up his mug again. "It doesn't matter what they all think,” she says. “Not when it's about you and Langa." 

Halfway through sipping on his cooled down hot coco Reki nearly chokes. He sets his mug down and snaps his gaze over to his mom. "You...knew? how?" 

"You were the happiest I've ever seen you with him, and he was over all the time. Once he stopped coming over and you were miserable I knew something had happened between you two."

Reki makes a non committal, embarrassed grumble. 

"When were you going to tell me you two were dating?" 

Then Reki finds himself going through another coughing fit, second time that night. " _Dating_ ?! You thought we were— Mom! I don't even think he likes me, _like that_. I don't even know if he— ugh." Head in his hands, he sighs. "So embarrassing." 

"Reki?"

He half mumbles into his hands, "Yes?" 

"Tell him how you feel, how you _truly_ feel. You might not think he feels the same, but you don't know for certain. What the two of you have is special, so don't let it go so easily."

"Mhn, alright...I'm tired now." Reki starts to get up, stretches his legs. "I'll head to bed." 

"Goodnight."

Reki is half out the door when he stops abruptly, turns around to take in the dimmed light of the living room, the two emptied mugs placed next to each other and his mother, giving him a smile that says _you’ll find your way out of this_. He believes her. 

"G'night mom. And, thank you, for the advice." 

When he settles down into bed, the thoughts are more whispers than shouts. Maybe the hot coco did the trick after all. And maybe, he’d speak to Langa when he got the chance, maybe he would try to repair the rift that had formed between them. For now though, Reki would sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> if you liked the fic, be sure to leave a comment and kudos! if you'd like to scream about sk8 with me, follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/sapphicshunu?s=09)


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